A mom bra

If you have ever gone bra shopping with your mom as a child, you know the brand Maidenform. It’s a brand that your mom thinks is a high quality purchase, meanwhile you are horrified that someday you will have to wear something so drab…you know one of the bras you can only buy in a department store of medium quality that has no color, no decoration, nothing.

Traumatized by boring bra shopping as a child, when I got my boobs at the tender age of 15, I became a Victoria’s Secret bra snob…I think every bra I have ever owned was from there.  They are pretty and colorful, even if not always practical, but not being practical is a small price to pay for not having to wear the seemingly asexual mom bra.

After having boobs for 11 years now, it turns out that I finally need something practical.  The strapless bridesmaid’s dress I have to wear in two days is a little too big, so I cannot go braless, which is pretty much what I always do…I even did it at my own wedding.  The strapless bra that I own does not stay up very well (but it is fucking adorable).  I don’t want to be that super classy bridesmaid that is chewing gum during the ceremony and pulling up  my hot pink strapless bra, so I took the mom bra plunge.  It was an economical choice, only $18, as well as being the best strapless bra I have owned to date.  I’ve been giving it a test run all morning, and haven’t had to adjust once.  Since the color of the bra is the most boring color on earth, body beige, which seems to be a weighted average of all possibly skin tones by population, it’s a practical as it gets…I am wearing it underneath a semi-see through white shirt.

The model makes the bra look sexier than it acutally is.