Adventures in DC

For my first official weekend as a resident of the fine city of Philadelphia, I high-tailed it to DC.  It’s much easier to hang out with old, established friends rather than to make new ones.

I could blog about all the different wines I drank, the limo that we had for the winery tour or the fact that we did this all during a hurricane, but I am choosing to blog about my first time seeing someone get punched in the face.  It was in the city, a bar called Rumors.  I was standing there with my dear friend having a friendly conversation.  Directly behind her, so pretty much right in my face, this guy got knocked the fuck out.  Literally, knocked down onto the floor.

The punch was magical.  The sound of fist meeting face was right out of a movie: a stacatto slap with undertones of thud.  It happened a lot slower than it appears to in the movies, kind of like being in a car accident.  It seems like many seconds went by between the puncher winding up and the fist reaching the punchee.  Then, since the bar was crowded, there was the shift of the sea of people as this guy fell to the floor.  Pandemonium ensued as bouncers rushed in, and I never got a good look at the damage done.

I’m sure the jerk deserved it, so I have no qualms with blogging about it.  I had heard from some people in our party that he was making arbitrarily rude comments to strangers.

Freedom!

We have our own internet now!  So much better than stealing the neighbors…

Gas prices

Everyone bitches about gas prices, including me.  Even in my 35 mpg car, I cringe when my fill up hits $36.  Yes, go ahead and laugh at my go-kart size gas tank…

I have been thinking though….How many other liquids could you get for $4 per gallon that have been shipped across the Atlantic Ocean?  I’m pretty sure a gallon of water from Saudi Arabia would cost more than $4.

The idiot clock

I have this alarm clock called the SmartClock. What makes it so smart is that it has a battery that powers the clock just enough so that when you unplug it or the electricity goes off, it keeps time to itself. When it turns back on, it automatically resets and displays the correct time. It also keeps track of the date, so by entering in your time zone, it automatically changes the clock for daylight savings time. However, daylight savings time has changed and now I have to fix my clock 4 times per year instead of 2 times per year with just a regular clock–twice when DST actually happens, and twice when the IdiotClock thinks DST is happening. So next weekend, I have to remember to turn my IdiotClock back an hour.

A nice coincidence

Tonight, I felt compelled to take out the bathroom trash.  I am not usually the trash taker-outer, but it was really nice out tonight and it needed to be done, so I just did it.  While outside, I saw what appeared to be a satellite in the sky.  I have a pretty keen (nerdy) eye for distinguishing satellites from planes.  They are usually about the same magnitude as stars but move, sometimes slowly sometimes quickly.  But this one was so bright, even brighter than a plane with it’s landing lights on.  I ran inside and grabbed my binoculars (yes, I have astronomy binoculars handy) to confirm that it wasn’t a plane.  I concluded that it was the international space station, and this conclusion has been confirmed by www.nasa.gov.  I have never seen it before and was quite excited.

Respecting life

Now I’m not a member of PETA, but come on…

It’s a live giant hissing cockroach bejeweled with Swarovski crystals.  They are decorated and leashed so they can be worn as rings and brooches.  Apparently, these people don’t care if this insect shits on them.

To quote someone from PETA, “For a person who doesn’t mind a small animal excreting on them throughout the day and doesn’t have an ounce of compassion for these small, defenseless animals, this could be just the gift.”

Winter cleaning

My inbox was weighting in at a hefty 866 messages.  After intense training, it is now a mere 239 messages.  Sayonara old wedding emails!

A small list of pet peeves just for fun

putting on sunscreen — too much work, i’d rather just wear clothes. i really dislike putting sunscreen on others, and unfortunately for me, i have a very white husband.

book jackets — i can’t hold onto the book properly and books look so much classier without the book jacket…like something you’d find in a model home.

when people use paper plates — it looks distasteful and is wasteful (that rhymes). my dad used to write me notes every morning on a paper plate when i visited him. it irked me so badly that i finally told him. so the last time i was there, i found half a note written on a paper plate in the trash and the real note on paper on the counter, not exactly what i was going for…

when toilet paper is installed incorrectly — it should roll over the top, not from the bottom.

people that say “the walmart” or “the shop and save” — there’s no “the”!!! my grandma and now my father and the main offenders.

“have a blessed day” — enough said

when people walk on the treadmill — OK, i know that they have every right to be there, but come on. yesterday, there was this fat lady who drove to the gym, walked at 3.0 mph for like 10 minutes and drove back home. just walk to the gym and then walk back home.

Madlib

So tonight I did a madlib for the first time like 15 years.  It was about how to get a guy/girl to like you.  One of the sentences was “make your poop look like a million butts.”  Another favorite was “When he/she asks you out, take a long pause before answering and in a sexy voice say ‘I’ll have to douche over it.’ “

Guess which words I had to fill in…

This is high quality mature entertainment.

Decanting wine

If you’ve never decanted a bottle of wine, I highly suggest it. Decanting took an already good bottle of homemade Beaujolais and made it taste like a excellent $12 glass of Pinot Noir.

I know this is an odd post considering all of the events of late that I have to write about, but I truly prefer to write about the mundane.